CLUB . . . You're wrong and you don't even know it !

Sunday morning, once again Rich had left with the dawn. I was feeling especially hung over and the all meat diet was beginning to take it's toll.

Phil & I headed off into town to find somewhere to eat, Paul had told us that he was in a steakhouse somewhere on the 'high street' so we spent a little while attempting to find this badly defined high street and it's generic steakhouse but without any success. Eventually we ended up in a little cafe opposite the Cathedral and I had a very nice lasagne. Phil was dribbling and slavering at the unending stream of delicious looking cakes progressing past our noses but pulled out at the last minute.

I had supposed that by going to the tourist information office I would be overwhelmed with activities and amusements to keep us occupied for the rest of the day but all I found were a few guide books to the cathedral and a souvenir shop.

We met Paul, Kerri, Rob & Caroline in the Cathedral and Paul, Kerri & Caroline decided to go up the stairs to the top whilst Phil, Rob and myself went for a beer in bar by the station. Time passed and Richard turned up. Some more time passed and we watched some Germans smashing their cars up in the car park out the window. We began to wander where Paul & the rest had got too since it was about an hour since we left them. Phil hadn't left his phone on which may have made it a bit awkward for them to get in touch so we phoned and told them where we were and to come and meet us. They said they were in a bar by the station.

Opposite the bar we were in was another bar but we all agreed they couldn't possibly have got in there without us noticing.

Some time later I thought I saw the missing trio wandering around in the station but wasn't sure. I saw them again and it looked like them but it took a good 10 minutes to make a positive ID before I dashed into the station to rescue them. It turned out they had been in the bar virtually directly opposite the bar we were in. We laughed about that.

The others had to go so we went to a small grotty pub so those who hadn't had breakfast could have some and those who wanted lunch could have that too. Phil & Rob had sausages which looked like dejected penises flopping around their plates and occasionly spasming as they cruelly pierced the taut skin with their forks.

The others left, Richards favourite station pub was closed so we ended up in some empty hotel bar where I began to feel increasingly 'dodgy' thanks to all the steaks I had been eating over the previous few days.

We spent the rest of the evening in further exploration of the ring road pubs finding most of them to be largely empty except a Chess pub where a lovely Phillipa Forresteresque barmaid presided over a bunch of nerdy looking blokes congregating around an especially exciting game in progress behind us. Also of interest was the little mouse I noticed scurrying around the floor in a pub where we had decided to eat, I thought the little visitor was cute and furry but Richard pronounced it vermin and was most disgusted. The bar staff were totally uninterested proclaiming ( I think - they were doing it in German ) that of course there were mice here, it was cold outside so where else would the mice be but sheltering in pubs ? I was reminded of the Peruvian jungle lodge where there were around 8 billion mice literally exploding from the walls and ceilings feasting on hanging clumps of bananas which turned up on the breakfast menu next day ( the bananas not the mice ). I don't think Richard would
have been at all impressed by that.

Eventually we ended up back in the Irish bar we had found on the first night where Phil & Rich proceeded to get utterly plastered and from where we had to drag Phil out of around 4:30 AM despite him wanting just one more last drink. The barmaid was again amusing and looked totally disgusted when Richard asked for a pint of water. "Water ? Water ? What is wrong with the beer ? You English are weird" this despite the fact Richard was also drinking beer at the same time. She also didn't see why we should leave when there was more beer to be drunk "You all have more pints now yes ?", "Why do you want no more pints ? You will drink half pints then yes ?", "Yes you will, I am standing here serving you and I am going to serve you half pints if you cannot take your proper amounts of beer - you weird English"

Phil was gibbering something about Kebab shops but in the vast rainswept expanse of ring road which lay before us at 5AM on Monday morning we couldn't see anything at all which was open so went home quickly before Phil found somewhere else to have some more drinks, he was hoping the hotel bar would be open, which it was, but in the end just settled for making lots of noise with Richard for another couple of hours before passing out.