CLUB . . . Redefining Our Parameters Since 2003

As some of you may be aware the thing I want most right now is to get rid of the current car and have it replaced by a bright shiny new one, or at least one which works.

This evening, just 10 minutes ago I was driving grumpily along down Dads Lane past the chippy when some muppet pulled right out in front of me coming from the road by the Highbury Pub. My first thought wasn't "You fucking cretinous muppet" but "If I don't swerve onto the other side of the road now, even if I put my brakes on full I'll go smack into the side of you car in an accident which is totally your fault and the nice insurance people will give me a nice shiny working car". Unfortunately by the time I'd thought all of that I was already on the other side of the road and as there was, tragically, nothing coming towards me down that side of the road and the muppet did at least have the sense to stop eventually when they saw me right in front of them nothing further came of it.

So there God, it looks like I passed, so where is my reward ?

Does anyone want a Peugeot shaped garden ornament ? I'm offering a very reasonable price this month only so this is a genuine once in a lifetime deal of the century. Your new Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornament will make an ideal home for birds, hedgehogs and other native garden fauna whilst at night watch and marvel as it lights up with it's quirky incorrect shade of orange flashing indicator beams. You need never feel alone in the garden again as your treasured Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornament will keep you company with it's tortured purr and emit clouds of carbon monoxide and, as labelled by experts in their field, tonnes of dangerous looking blue smoke. Caring for your Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornament is easy, why - it almost cares for it's self and installing it couldn't be easier as it fully equipped with four stylish alloy wheels. To activate the smoke generation function you will simply need to purchase the auxiliary Giant Oil Tank Garden Feature which not only will keep your Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornament in tip top condition for days at a time but can also be used for the elimination of common garden pests such as, but not limited to, wasps, badgers, sea birds, kangaroos, wading birds, baby seals, squirrels, stoats, beavers, Jehovahs witnesses and unsightly garden plants ( including grass ).

The Peugeot Shaped Garden ornament is great for kids, fitted throughout with safety glass your off spring will quickly learn important lessons which will stand them in great stead for a life of adventure as they access the Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornament using the sharpened metal lock hole and activate the mobiles and childish attractions to be found in the engine compartment. Teach them all about the dangers of excessive heat, train them young in the inherent folly of handling hot oil and rest assured they will never again consider playing with petrol to be a fun or amusing activity. Tiny hands can move fast but spinning axles and gears can move faster, a vital life lesson for any curious toddler you'll be glad they learned in the comfort and safety of your garden. Charles Darwin himself tells us that whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, it's a scientific law, and your child of science will grow up strong and capable in the ever present life enhancing pall of dangerous looking blue smoke, you need never worry if they choose to take up smoking knowing this will be as nothing to an early childhood playing near the Peugeot Shaped Garden Ornaments exhaust pipe.

So, all offers accepted, don't be shy, buy today and you could have this unique and original ornament in your very own garden today. Payment in kind is perfectly acceptable and there is a particularly special offer today on cars. Hurry ! Don't Delay !

As well as the websites i mentioned yesterday:

parkers

honest john

what car

top gear

autotrader

You could have a look at this article on the best used cars for under £2000:

http://cars.uk.msn.com/news/car_news_article.aspx?cp-documentid=475280

Hey,

You should get one of these:

http://www.delorean.com/preowned.asp

Marty