My boss was off today as was her evil troll henchwoman so I thought, I'd be able to have a nice chilled out day reading the Interwebs without any hassle.

But oh no! It wasn't to be.

One of my colleagues, we'll call Ms Miserable, because that's her general demeanour, has recently been caught out talking a good game but not actually doing a slightest stich of fucking work. So today in order to try and cover up her uselessness she decided to harrass me this morning by trying to get me to do some work which would make it look like she had done some fucking work.

This was the conversation I had this morning.

Ms Miserable: There are some jobs on the support log, can I do them?
rm-rf: Do you know how to do them?
Ms Miserable: Well, can you show me how to do them?
rm -rf: No, I can't, that one is a coding problem and the others have already been sorted.
Ms Miserable: I know C#.
rm -rf: And?
Ms Miserable: You can show me where the code is and I'll have a look.
rm -rf: Fuck off.
Ms Miserable: I've been on a course.
Ms Miserable: Look I'm offerering to do some of your work for you.
rm -rf: No, you are causing me work, I'd have to spend over an hour explaining it to you
Ms Miserable: Come on.
rm -rf: No, haven't you got your own work to do?
Ms Miserable: Yes but....
rm -rf: Fuck off and do that then, the boss isn't here and neither is the troll and I'm not doing anything that I'm not required to do today.
Ms Miserable: So there's nothing I can do then?
rm -rf: Yes you can fuck off and do your own work that you've put on the too hard to do pile.